Pssst…Hey Momma-in-Waiting. Yes, you....
I saw you the other day. I saw the longing in your eyes. I recognized the deep searching that your heart is doing. You are waiting for a soft place for your heart to land. You are on a quest to end the night to which you have been waking up to.
You are a Momma without a child. You are a Momma-in-Waiting.
You see the images of the babes of others splattered all over social media. You watch new mothers at the park. You greet the new babies at church with love, but while you do, your heart feels as though it is being ripped from your chest. You read the headlines about others who do not seem to care about the very thing that you long for.
You know there are Momma-less children in the world; and yet, you feel as though every door you try to open remains unlocked. You also know that there are children-less Momma’s in the world; and yet, you feel completely alone.
You get angry. You question. You feel sorry for yourself. You keep it to yourself. You are a Momma without a child. You are a Momma-in-Waiting.
Pssst…Hey Momma-in-Waiting. Yes, you….
You are backed into a corner where your faith and your frailness collide. Still, in this waiting time, there is great beauty. You…Momma-in-Waiting…You know full well the magnitude of the gift of life. You know every measure of importance that children are to our lives, and to this world. You…Momma-in-Waiting…You do not take anything or anyone for granted, anymore.
It may not feel like it now, but there is much to be gained while waiting. There are moments that cut and sear your heart. There are moments when doubt about your purpose, or better yet, His purpose seems to cling onto you. There are times when you feel as though your heart will never recover, and your tears seem to flood any attempt to see life with clarity.
You question. You seek. You wonder. You wait. You are a Momma without a child. You are a Momma-in-Waiting.
Pssst…Hey Momma-in-Waiting. Yes, you….
You have made a pledge to yourself. You have promised that once you no longer are in waiting, you will be the best Momma around. You are already visualizing the moment you see your child for the first time. You are already thinking about parties, nursery decorations, and announcements. You may have even, in anticipation, tucked away a picture or item you will use once your wait is over.
In this waiting period, although sorrowful at times, there is great beauty. There is coloring of the memories to come, prayers for the child who will be joining you, and soul-deepening conversations with the One who hears the deepest, and often unspoken, hunger of your heart.
You pray. You plead. You visualize. You cling. You are a Momma without a child. You are a Momma-in-Waiting.
Pssst…Hey Momma-in-Waiting. Yes, you….
You do not understand why you are waiting. You wonder if you did something wrong, or perhaps, just perhaps, you are holding onto the promise of something incredible in store. Your faith and strength is unwavering. Did you hear that, Momma-in-Waiting? YOUR FAITH AND YOUR STRENGTH IS UNWAVERING.
No one knows how you walk each day with an armor of courage, shield of strength, and heart of hope. No one fully understands how this life experience has shaped you, grieved you, changed you, and matured your heart to the calling of His voice. Only the other Momma’s-in-Waiting who share in this journey of walking through the wasteland, will ever understand it.
You have courage. You are strong. You do not lose hope. You are a Momma without a child. You are a Momma-in-Waiting.
Pssst…Hey Momma-in-Waiting. Yes, you….
I used to be a Momma-in-Waiting. I used to greet the new babies at church with quiet happiness, while harboring the sadness in my heart. I used to feel alone. I once battled between my faith and my frailness. Doubt seemed to wrap around me
I questioned if I deserved barrenness. I wondered if there was a daybreak in sight to the endless night to which I had succumbed. I fantasized about my babies. I decorated their rooms in my head. I clung onto the intense prayers to our Lord.
I look back now, and I recognize the incredible beauty of the wait. I know that my armor of courage, shield of strength, and heart of hope kept me going each day. My experience shaped me, grieved me, changed me, and matured my heart to Him.
Pssst…Hey Momma-in-Waiting. Yes, you….
My head was lifted, and so will yours. My eyes were dried, and so will yours.
Soon, yes, soon….You will no longer be a momma-in-waiting.
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