a little bit of hope, joy, love, grace, life and all things in between infertility
“Do you want to do something beautiful for God? There is a person who needs you. This is your chance.”
-Mother Teresa
I find this quote from Mother Teresa to be simple, powerful, and truthful. I think that if you substitute the word child for the word person, it makes this quote even more awesome. I hope your day is one that shines beauty for the Lord’s sake!
And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.
-Matthew 18:5
I love working for a child welfare agency that is not only Christian in name, but in acts and philosophy. The agency has been involved in the social welfare of children since 1886 and has evolved through the years as societal changes have occurred. Although our services have developed through the years to meet the needs of children and families, our priority and reason why we do the work has not changed. We know that we can serve the Lord by ministering to children who are hurting, youth who are struggling, and families who are broken. We also believe and have witnessed the great miracles that occur in the lives of children and families through the love and acceptance of Christ.
One aspect of my job is to speak to families who have expressed an interest in foster care and adoption. Like my husband and I, many families go into fostering with a desire to parent children and know that fostering is an avenue that could lead to adoption. There are others who see it as a way to give back to children or their society. Most of the Christian families I work with feel the Lord calling them to be foster parents and to adopt a child out of foster care.
Thinking about these families leads me straight to the Scripture noted above. Our Heavenly Father loves children. They are near and dear to His heart. One cannot also overlook the fact that He wants us to be like children when it comes to our walk with Him.
I really do enjoy witnessing the love of Christian families that is poured into children in need of foster and adoptive homes. To see and know that change is happening in children’s lives is what keeps most of us in the field of child welfare going. The Lord stirs the hearts of people so that they can minister to His children through fostering and adopting.
Welcoming children in the name of the Father is a blessing. Families who feel the Lord calling them out to become foster and adoptive parents are able to learn so much about their own personal journey with Christ. One such foster parent who was hoping to adopt the child she was fostering, said to me, “The Lord reminded me that they are all His children. We are just taking care of them.”
It is statements like the one above that confirm my personal belief that when people do what they are called to do, especially when it comes to caring for children, the Lord blesses them with His wisdom, His grace, and His power to withstand many trials. When the Lord whispers His plan and His calling into the lives of others, they are able to whisper His love into the lives of children. When one welcomes children, they welcome Him.
The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ – Matthew 25:40
Here’s another sweet story about adoption-
Although Scott and Cammie were blessed with three children, they knew their family was incomplete and yearned for another child. They were unable to have anymore biological children and had been considering international adoption when Cammie came across an exhibit about adoption of children with Down Syndrome at a convention. It tugged at her heart and she left the conference with an application in hand.
Upon returning home, Cammie approached Scott about the idea and showed him the application. He quickly responded with “Why is it still blank?!” Their family had some concerns but were also very supportive of their decision. Cammie is adopted as well so it just seemed to be a natural thing for their family to do. They followed their heart and went through an agency in hopes of being matched with a child who needed a home.
After waiting for two years, they were matched with Addysen, and were so overjoyed! She was 7-months-old at the time. Their adoption is considered open and Addy’s birth parents visit once per year, and they exchange emails. Cammie is pleased to have the level of openness that she does with Addy’s birth parents. This is something she wished she would have had as a child. She is not sure if Addy will ever completely understand adoption, but they continue to openly talk about it.
Scott and Cammie feel the biggest joy of their adoption of Addy is watching her develop and grow to the best of her ability. Because of her special needs, they celebrate each skill she accomplishes. They enroll her in dancing and other activities so that she can develop her social, physical, and emotional skills. Addy is loved and accepted by her extended family and community. She brings great happiness to their lives.
The biggest challenge is dealing with Addy’s health issues. She has multiple complications and spends many days in the hospital. Scott and Cammie have developed a team approach to taking care of Addysen’s medical needs and lean on each other for support during the difficult times. They are wonderful parents to her.
Adoption has taught them that each family is unique and special. It has taught their children that every person is a child of God who is loved deeply regardless of where the person comes from or who they are. Their advice to families considering adoption is trust your heart. If you desire to adopt, then you should follow your heart. Adopting a child with Down Syndrome or other special need may not be for everyone, but they just knew it was meant for them. Adoption has been a tremendous blessing and they cannot imagine life without it!
On a side note, Scott and Cammie are now foster parents and are taking care of a little one with special needs! For information about adopting children with Down Syndrome, please click here. The ministry linked is call Reece’s Rainbow. They advocate for the adoption of children with Down Syndrome from all over the world. Many of these precious babies are abandoned, and in need of loving homes. Here is a link to Cammie’s blog as well The Heflin Family.
Passage
Your mother loved you dearly
But that love was not enough,
With tears in her eyes and guilt in her heart
She had to give you up.
You started life, far from certain
Moving from home to home,
A search began to fill your void
A family to call your own
Days dragged on, and into weeks
And months turned into years,
Old enough to look for mommy and dad
But the horizons never near
Your life on hold, bonds incomplete,
Growing older with every day,
Hoping and dreaming every night
For a permanent home to stay
A call is made, “a child we have”
Of course we want this child!
More than ready to fill a heart felt void
Knowing your trust will be meek and mild
You quietly question another move
Is my search over or still continuing?
You keep to yourself, hiding here and there
As the question begins diminishing
You eye all the other children
Their love helps you on your way,
You see, once they were where you are
At the start of their first new day
You give us your trust, you warmed to our love
We’re finally now mommy and dad,
Our heart now filled, the bonds now complete
Your tears for a family, now glad
Your mother sent you on a journey
God’s destination she did not know,
So little, you made your passage
From her heart into our own.
-Ron Schutt
It is hard to find a lot of poems about adoption out of foster care. I came across this one and thought I would share it. Have a wonderful day!
Happy Thanksgiving! Here’s my top ten list of things I’m thankful for:
Oh yeah, I’m also thankful for moments like these, and so many more!!
One part of my job with the agency I work for is to recruit foster families. I show a brief documentary about a foster/adoptive family to prospective families as part of this effort. The images and story of the family gives a brief yet insightful glimpse into the life of a typical foster home. It also does a great job of promoting and showing the struggles and work, yet joy that is found in being a foster family.
My favorite part is an interview with a 16-year-old boy who was residing in the home as a foster placement I’m not entirely sure of his whole story, but I get the feeling that he had been passed around a lot and moved from placement to placement. In his interview, the teen describes moving into the family’s home and how much he liked it. He then moved on to giving advice to families who want to foster and adopt out of the system. His words “Let Them Love You” are ones that are hard to forget.
At first, I thought he meant for children to let the foster families love them, but then I realized that he meant foster and adoptive families need to let the children love them. Sometimes, it seems foster families give in too quick when a child does not attach right away, or is not the right fit for their home. The matching of families and children is so difficult when placement is needed immediately. I also understand the complex and sometimes severe issues that cause disruptions in and out of homes. However, I just can’t get his words out of my mind.
I have heard many people say “I could never be a foster parent because I would get too attached.” I know the pain of being attached to a child, yet having to step one foot at a time into the unknown. I get it. Despite the hardship of it all, the children need attachment. They need for families to love them to the point of not wanting to let them go, but they also need families who will recognize that reunifying with birth family is extremely important.
There are over 1000,000 children and youth available for adoption in the United States Foster Care System. Many are children with medical, emotional, and behavioral challenges. Many are part of large sibling groups. Many have meandered through the system without ever setting roots anywhere. Many are like the teenager who spoke on the video I described above. Too many are not anywhere long enough to be allowed to love anyone.
I think the best thing those of us working within child welfare could do to make it better is to listen to the kids who are living life in a system made up of judges, case workers, lawyers, and temporary parents. They have so much to offer us if we just took the time to listen. We need to hear to their words and take heed to their insights. We need to give them the opportunity express their hearts and feelings just like the teenager on the video.
We need to let them love.
You may know of the name Dave Thomas from the fast-food chain Wendy’s, but you may not be aware of the work Dave did to promote the plight of children in the US foster care system who need adoption. Dave was the owner of Wendy’s and was extremely passionate about adoption.
Dave was adopted when he was 6 months old. He spent a lot of time with his adoptive grandmother who was an incredible support and influence in his life. He never knew his birth mother.
Dave founded the Dave Thomas Foundation. This foundation promotes the adoption of children out of the foster care system. The foundation also has influenced many initiatives and promoted adoption benefits for employees. At one point, Dave was a national spoke person for adoption. Dave passed away in 2002, but his care for children in the foster care system is not forgotten.
The website Dave Thomas Foundation has a variety of information on it regarding the great need for adoption of children out of the US foster care system. Check it out!
My girl, Happy 4th Birthday to You! I didn’t know about you the day you were born. I wasn’t there to welcome you into the world, and to see you take your first breath of Earthly air. I didn’t greet your sweet face with a gasp of joy. My arms were not the first ones to hold you. I didn’t hear your first cry or witness the doctor say how precious you were. I didn’t feed you your first bottle, change your first diaper, or pick out your first garment. I didn’t lock you safely in your car seat and drive you home to your first crib. Our home was not your first one, but our family is yours forever.
Your first year was so special. I celebrated your first taste of real food, your first embraces, your first steps, your first words, and, of course, your first birthday. I cared for your first boo-boos and scared away your first fears. I bought several pink outfits for the first time. There were many firsts that you only had with me. No, I wasn’t there for your first breath of Earthly air, but I was there for your first year.
Your second year came so quickly. I listened as your vocabulary took off and saw how your shy spirit took a backseat to your ever-emerging confident self. I noticed that your first friend was your brother. You were not quite two when our adoption was finalized. I penned your new name for the first time! I took you on your first “girl’s day” shopping spree, and tucked you into your first big girl bed. No, I wasn’t there for your first breath of Earthly air, but I was there for your second year.
Year three seemed to fly by so fast. You learned to dress yourself, and I laughed at some of your first outfits you pulled together. I took you to your first dentist appointment and applauded at how well you brushed your teeth. You and I squealed with excitement at your first tube ride behind papa’s boat. I noticed how quickly you learned to spell your name for the first time. I was amazed at how easily you seemed to pick up on your first numbers and other preschool lessons. I took you to your first dance recital, and wiped tears away while watching you twirl on the stage. No, I wasn’t there for your first breath of Earthly air, but I was there for your third year.
Here we are at the start of another year of life together. How many firsts will we discover this year? I may not have been there to watch you take your first breath of Earthly air, but I am here now. We are here now. I love you so much daughter, and thank the Lord for gracing us with the blessings of you and your four years of firsts.
I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you.
-John 14:18
I was talking in church several years ago to a woman who had spent some time in children’s ministry. Through the years she had ministered to many hurting children. An issue that always seems to affect and burden children are when their fathers are absent in their lives. By all means, I believe that many single women do a wonderful and fantastic job of raising children. My grandmother raised my mother, and several siblings, after the death of my grandfather. However, there is something special about the relationship with a father.
In my experience, children long for their fathers. They want to have a decent, healthy relationship and to at least know they are loved. The former children’s minister seemed to always have the right words to say to children who mourned their absent fathers. She said to them, “You may not have an Earthly father by your side, but your Heavenly Father will never leave you and loves you more than anything.”
When I read the verse above, of course, my mind goes to adoption. Children who were once fatherless are given the joy of having Earthly fathers through adoption. I also believe that this Scripture verse is a promise to all of us. We will not be left as orphans. He has promised His love for all of us. The Lord loves every human being on Earth. We are HIS children, and He will not abandon us!
Have a super Sunday~
Once there were two women who never knew each other
One you do not remember, the other you call mother.
Two different lives shaped to make yours one
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun.
The first gave you life, the second taught you to live it
The first gave you a need for love, the second was there to give it.
One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name
One gave you the seed for talent, the other gave you an aim.
One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears
One saw your first smile, the other dried your tears.
One gave you up, it was all that she could do
The other prayed for a child and was led straight to you.
And now you ask me through your tears
the age old question through the years,
“Heredity or environment, which am I the product of?”
Neither my darling, neither,
Just two different kinds of Love.
-Author Unknown
This is another poem about adoption that I love. My heart leaps just a bit and I got a little emotional when I read the last line. My children’s birth mothers did not choose adoption, as is the case of most foster care adoptions. However, I would never deny the importance of their roles in who my children are.
I’m so thankful to be called mom. I cannot imagine giving birth to a child and not being in the child’s life. I have such respect and empathy for the birth mothers who have chosen adoption for their babies. I also feel great empathy and compassion for the birth mothers who did not choose adoption and whose children were taken away by protective services. I think that birth mothers who choose life and make a plan for adoption are often the unsung heroes. So, thank you birth mothers. Thank you for choosing life and for the selfless sacrifice you made when you chose adoption.
BARREN TO BLESSED 