Life in the Wasteland

“When I look at my kids, I think about my life. I think about the wasteland of broken dreams, shallow impulses, thick tears, and sorrowful ache. This is what my life could have and even perhaps should have been consumed by. However, during my walkabout, I found meaning. I found life in the wasteland.”

This is an excerpt from my story that I have been writing for the past few years.  I’m not sure what the Lord wants to do with it, but I’m so hopeful that it will touch the lives of those walking sterile in a non-sterile world.

For many years, I walked around feeling as though I was absent of anything that gave life. I was sterile. I was empty. I was broken.

I was a wasteland.

In my brokenness, the Lord met me. He lifted my head. He reminded me that my life is not a wasteland. It is not devoid of life, or anything that gives life to others.

In His mercy, I became a parent. Through my experience, I have learned that I am a broken vessel, but I am mended. I am mended through the gift of salvation, freedom, and grace.

For my friends who are walking barren, I want you to know that you are not destitute. It may feel like it. The emptiness may feel as though it will swallow your soul, but dear friend, it will not.

You are filled with the very Love that has seized the hearts of many. You sway to the rhythm of Mercy.

You are sculpted with incredible, grace-driven Sacrifice.

I am not a wasteland. We are not wastelands! We are children of the Lord. We are unique. We are not perfect. We are broken…but….

We are Redeemed!

For my friends who are struggling with infertility, whose every breath is filled with the desire to be a Mamma, I encourage you to cling to the Anchor of Hope.

Photo Credit: Ann Conn
Photo Credit: Ann Conn

Through the Lord, we are filled with life.  We able to bloom despite the seemingly insurmountable odds surrounding us.  We are not wastelands.

When Good Things Happen to Bad People

Why does it seem that bad things always happen to good people?  I have often wondered this; even though, I believe the Lord holds all of us His hands, and that suffering is part of the walk here on Earth.

I have been thinking lately of “good” people versus “bad” people.  I can say that I probably have fit, or still fit, in both of these categories at various times in my life. As a believer in Christ, I know that I am not good enough for His redemption.  It is by grace and supreme forgiveness that I am saved.

Being in the field of social work, I hear the awful things that people do to children and see first hand what the years of poor choices have often lead to, but, I also get the “back story” to these people’s lives.  I learn that many of them were abused as children, grew up in extreme poverty, and had absent fathers & mothers.  Many have addictions that plague them starting in their early adolescence and on through adulthood.

I had a client tell me one time, “You’ve treated me better than my own family ever treated me.”  She was 20-years-old, addicted to meth, homeless, uneducated, and just lost her baby to the foster care system.  I was certainly not her friend.  I was the case manager for her and her infant son, and ended up being the one who recommended termination of her parental rights.  However, I was kind to her.  I tried to put myself in her shoes.  It is tragically sad that I treated her better than her family.

I have often thought, “By the grace of God go I”.  Basically, I didn’t grow up in these type of situations and give praise for the Lord’s grace in my life that I’m not living this way now.  There is great heartbreak in our own backyards; yet, so many of us are shielded from the turmoil.

I have had my share of bad things that have happened, but I have also had an incredible amount of good things and good people in my life.  I am left with the thought/question of, “What if good things happened to bad people?”  I mean, what if the world showed more mercy and kindness to those deemed “bad” by society?  What if you and I (you know…the “good” guys) decided to wake up each day with the notion that we are going to make a positive difference in the life of someone who otherwise might be overlooked or looked down upon?

What if goodness and kindness became a habit?

The best thing ever happened to all of us.  Our Lord and Savior chose us.  His love and mercy are incredibly good things that continue to bless us every day.

photo (23)I believe in the power of a redeeming God who loves everyone – “good” or “bad”.  I also believe in His calling for us to love one another.  Maybe it is time for us to show the goodness of His love to others.  I cannot help but hope and believe that if more good things happened to bad people, our world would be a kinder, softer, and more loving place.

What do you think?

Forgiven

The picture on the right is of a ring I wear nearly every day.  Besides my wedding ring and a necklace with the names of my children engraved on it, this ring is about the only consistent piece of jewelry I wear.  The word forgiven is engraved into the ring and serves as a gentle reminder to me that nothing else matters really except for the forgiveness and life I have in Christ.

On the inside of the ring, Eph. 1:7 is engraved.

In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace.  Ephesians 1:7

Sometimes, I think about things I have done in the past and the struggle even now to live a life that models Christ to others.  I get caught up in wondering whether or not I’m “good enough” for the Lord.  Truthfully, I’m not good enough for Him.  No one is.

Often, my human desires get in the way of keeping my eyes, mind, and heart focused on Heavenly intentions.  I set goals that will enhance my walk with the Lord, but then fall short of completing them.  I get up every day saying and praying that I would act in ways pleasing to Him and that the love of Christ would show through my actions.  Then….life happens.  I get upset about something, or make a snap judgement about a situation, or not offer the same amount of grace that the Lord has given me over and over again, and that feeling of failing the Lord sinks in.

During these moments, I look down at my ring and see FORGIVEN.  It serves as a quiet reminder to me that He has already chosen His grace over my flaws.  He loves me despite all the messes I have made and will make until the day my eyes look upon Him.  I am already forgiven for things of the past and the times I acted as if I did not know Him.  Nothing will change the mighty forgiveness of the Lord.

His love is unfailing, His blood is redeeming, His mercy is miraculous, and His forgiveness is forever.