It would be easy for us to say no to a situation involving a family member that, if all goes through, will distinctly rock our fairly routine family life. It would be easy for us to say that we are too busy, too poor, too stressed, too hectic, too old, and far too content in our own circumstances to do anything to help. It would be even easier to say “it’s not our problem”, and walk away living our own life with our own little family. It would be easiest for us to sit on the sidelines with our own opinions; yet, not be willing to step out in action, in love, and in faith to help.
It would be easy for us to ignore the need, which in turn would ignore the living, breathing lives of those involved. When we look at the situation at hand though, we know the decision that needs to be made is not the easy one. Often, the right thing to do is the hardest. We also know that if the tables were turned, and we were in need of help, we would desperately want the love of family to stand with us. We also know we have the ability, the means, the love, and the solid rock that is our Lord to carry us through.
It would have been easy for Jesus to say no. It would have been easier for Him to say He was too busy, too poor, too stressed, too hectic, too old, and far too content in His own circumstances to do anything. He did not say, “Father, they are not my problem.” Oh, it would have been especially easy for the Son of God to circumvent the calling on His life in order to avoid hardship. Because He chose the hard path that led to a bloody and brutal death on a cross, we have been given new life, abundant hope, and eternal grace.
Our life may be changing in the next month or two. We may have less time, less space, and less money. We may have to rely on each other for even greater support. We may have to be even more fervent in prayer, and patient in the progression of things. We may have to help our little ones understand the opportunity to imprint love onto someone else. We may lean on the circumstances to help them understand their own stories.
We may face objection, questions, and fear. We may ask at times why the Lord led us down this path. We may even face heart-ache. I can’t help but think, though, that if we didn’t face these things, then our answer would have been far too easy.
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Then one of the elders said to me, “Do not weep! See, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has triumphed. He is able to open the scroll and its seven seals.” – Revelations 5:5
Hallelujah!
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One of my favorite Christmas songs is “The Little Drummer Boy”. There is something quite simplistic, yet deeply thoughtful (in my opinion) about this tune. The lyrics tell the story of a boy whose only gift for the newborn King is the rhythmic tapping of his drum.
I remember watching the animated movie when I was younger. The description of the movie is, “An orphan drummer boy who hated humanity finds his life changed forever when he meets three wise men on route to Bethlehem.” (www.imdb.com) I would argue that his life changed more when he met the newborn King. Much like those of us who claim Christ as our Savior, the people along the way certainly influenced our journey, but ultimately, meeting the Lord and reveling in His glory is what changed our lives.
The thought that our Savior was born in a lowly manger surrounded by very few people is quite humbling. His worth values more than any riches. He could have been born in the most glorious of places, and could have commanded the Earth to move. And yet, the song of “The Little Drummer Boy” reminds me of the pureness of children and how their gifts, though small and often hand-made, carry far greater value than the store-bought gifts we often receive. The words also speak of meeting the Lord where we are at; poor, with not much to offer.
I believe He doesn’t expect us to put out our finest wares for Him. I believe He wants our gifts to be used and given in humility, kindness, and with sincere generosity. I believe we are to use what we have been given to the best of our ability, and with the heart of a child. These gifts of our time, service to others, loving acceptance, and consolation of each other are of value that will never fade.
What “drum” will you play to honor Him? What will the rhythm of your life sound like? The sounds may fade, and the act may be just one moment in time, but, the impact on others can be eternal.
Yes, Lord, I’ll play my drum for You.
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Walking by the magazine aisle in the grocery story, I noticed a headline that claimed “Raising a Royal Baby”. The article was apparently about the expectant royal couple William and Kate. I thought how interesting, exciting, yet difficult it would be to raise a “royal” child.
All the eyes of the world would be on you. If your children struggled with behavioral problems or other issues, what kind of attention would that draw? The initial thought of being someone of royalty sounds quite intriguing, but, to be under the constant scrutiny would be tough. Parenting is a hard enough job without having the eyes of the world watching your every move.
Tonight would not have been a good “parenting through the lens of the camera” moment for me. Busy streets, long lines, and two very hyper, and slightly defiant, children pushing every boundary possible in the store, was enough to diminish the “merry-ness” of the last-minute Christmas shopping trip. Thoughts of “I’m gonna wring their little necks!” ran through my mind all while I was smiling through my pseudo-calm words of “If you continue this behavior, we will have to leave the store.”
Reflecting back on the magazine cover I saw, it hit me that we are all raising royal children. As a believer in Christ the King, I know my children are His. This means that I am raising royal children! What a wonderful, and challenging thought!
The next time I get a little….um….frustrated with my little ones while out and about, I need to remind myself that I am raising children of the King. Now that should humble and refine me a bit! That should remind me of the importance of striving to always grow as a parent, to learn more about what works and doesn’t work, and to remember that I too am a child of the King.
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Thank you to Teresa at http://catholibertarian.com for nominating me for the Food For Thought Award a few weeks ago. I’m sorry that I missed the 8:00 pm deadline for passing it on though…
Here are the seven Scripture verses that seem to speak to me the most:
Jeremiah 29:11- “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” This verse is one that I believe all Christians should cling on to. We know our only hope is in the Lord. We know His will for our lives far outweighs what the world desires for us.
Isaiah 54:10– Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,”says the Lord, who has compassion on you. I just love how this verse declares that the Lord will NEVER forsake us. There is nothing that will take away His love for us. I also love that it speaks of His love being full of compassion and never-failing.
Romans 5:2-5 – Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. This verse is what I have on my About Me page. Years ago I may not have rejoiced in my suffering of being barren. I see now though that the endurance, character, and hope built by suffering are all part of who I am in the Lord.
Psalm 23-The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies, You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. I sang this Psalm just a year after my near-death illness when I was eleven. The words are ones that have been seared into my memory since that time. I even wrote a post about it – valley of death, Mercy of Life
Psalm 139:13-16 – For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. I actually favor the entire Psalm 139! This part though speaks to me of the incredible and brilliant design that the Lord has for all of us.
Luke 12:7- Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. The very God who created the Universe loves us. Our worth to Him is far greater than we will ever comprehend.
John 3:16- For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. If one does not believe this verse to be true, then one does not believe in the Gospel of Jesus Christ!
As part of the award, I am to link seven blogs that I enjoy! Here they are!
Here are the instructions if you choose to participate!
Post the award on your blog.
Thank the one who nominated you and link back to their blog.
Share seven of your favorite Bible passages. For extra points (Perhaps our Father in heaven will award them.), explain why each these seven passages is a favorite. Done
Nominate seven other bloggers you admire and enjoy! Why seven? In the Bible, seven symbolizes completeness.
Inform each person that you have nominated them. Will pass on by tomorrow at 8pm.
Thanks again to Teresa for the nomination! It is greatly appreciated!
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For my last post in recognition and celebration of National Adoption Month, I wanted to write something so bold, fresh, and new that everyone would want to become a foster and adoptive parent. I wanted to try to list every well-known person (alive or deceased) who has either been adopted or who has adopted children. I considered writing about persons in Scripture who were considered to be adopted, or at least, raised by persons other than their biological parents
I realized, though, that none of this compares to the incredible and profound blessing of our adoption by our Heavenly Father. Through the sacrifice of His son and our acceptance of Christ as our Lord and Savior, we have been given an Eternal inheritance, and the promise of His love and His care. We are sealed by His grace.
The word permanency comes up often in child welfare. Permanency refers to the goal of achieving something permanent in children’s lives. I like to refer to it as the final place a child gets to call home. We talk about the goals to attain permanency for children in the system all of the time. Well, with the Lord, the goal has already been met and achieved!
Our permanency is in Heaven! Now, isn’t that something to celebrate!!
“I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.” -2 Corinthians 6:18
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“Do you want to do something beautiful for God? There is a person who needs you. This is your chance.” -Mother Teresa
I find this quote from Mother Teresa to be simple, powerful, and truthful. I think that if you substitute the word child for the word person, it makes this quote even more awesome. I hope your day is one that shines beauty for the Lord’s sake!
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And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.
-Matthew 18:5
I love working for a child welfare agency that is not only Christian in name, but in acts and philosophy. The agency has been involved in the social welfare of children since 1886 and has evolved through the years as societal changes have occurred. Although our services have developed through the years to meet the needs of children and families, our priority and reason why we do the work has not changed. We know that we can serve the Lord by ministering to children who are hurting, youth who are struggling, and families who are broken. We also believe and have witnessed the great miracles that occur in the lives of children and families through the love and acceptance of Christ.
One aspect of my job is to speak to families who have expressed an interest in foster care and adoption. Like my husband and I, many families go into fostering with a desire to parent children and know that fostering is an avenue that could lead to adoption. There are others who see it as a way to give back to children or their society. Most of the Christian families I work with feel the Lord calling them to be foster parents and to adopt a child out of foster care.
Thinking about these families leads me straight to the Scripture noted above. Our Heavenly Father loves children. They are near and dear to His heart. One cannot also overlook the fact that He wants us to be like children when it comes to our walk with Him.
I really do enjoy witnessing the love of Christian families that is poured into children in need of foster and adoptive homes. To see and know that change is happening in children’s lives is what keeps most of us in the field of child welfare going. The Lord stirs the hearts of people so that they can minister to His children through fostering and adopting.
Welcoming children in the name of the Father is a blessing. Families who feel the Lord calling them out to become foster and adoptive parents are able to learn so much about their own personal journey with Christ. One such foster parent who was hoping to adopt the child she was fostering, said to me, “The Lord reminded me that they are all His children. We are just taking care of them.”
It is statements like the one above that confirm my personal belief that when people do what they are called to do, especially when it comes to caring for children, the Lord blesses them with His wisdom, His grace, and His power to withstand many trials. When the Lord whispers His plan and His calling into the lives of others, they are able to whisper His love into the lives of children. When one welcomes children, they welcome Him.
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This blog has been mostly devoted to my own personal journey from the valley of unknowns and barrenness to the glorious mountain top that is adoption. I know that my story is not the only one out there. There are many families whose stories include answering the call to care for children in need. This is one of them.
In 1999, when Tamra was just 23 years of age and finishing college, her heart was deeply touched by the foster children who attended her daycare. She was moved so much that she decided to become a licensed foster care provider through the state. Tamra asked to be put on the so-called openings list for placements. This list is how workers know that families are available to take children into their homes. A few days had passed before any calls were made to her. That all changed though on July 24, 1999.
Imagine, if you will, running into your home to change clothes after a wedding so that you can head out for the reception, picking up the ringing phone, and being asked “Would you be available to take in a two month old baby boy?” That is exactly what happened. Tamra excitedly got off the phone, grabbed her friend, and made their way to the hospital – so much for going to the wedding reception!
This 8 week old baby boy had been intentionally thrown out and onto some lawn furniture and needed to be checked for injuries. As Tamra was waiting to meet him, her mind was racing with thoughts of “What have I done? I don’t know how to take care of a baby!” She also wondered if the nursing staff thought of her as being too young to be a foster parent. Tamra was not prepared, but felt the calling to say “yes”. She did not have a crib, car seat, or anything really for a newborn, so after they left the hospital, they made their way to Wal-Mart to pick up all of the necessities for taking care of babies. Foster families very rarely get a lot of time to prepare for placements, so they must think and act quickly.
It was very natural for her to fall in love with the little prince that came to live with her on that fateful night in both of their lives. Tamra’s fiance, Shane (now her husband), also fell in love with him. Their extended family worried that they would get their hearts broken, but they were also supportive and realistic about the primary goal of the foster care system in working towards reunification with birth parents and their children. Although adoption was not their first intention, Tamra and Shane were very happy when it appeared that adoption would be the goal for him.
Things were moving along and then…new case worker….new ideas…a relative stepped in. This little boy had been placed with her since age of 2 months, had been visiting his birth parents the entire duration of the case, and now was potentially going to be moving in to a relative’s home. After 2 weeks of nail-biting anxiety, a decision was made to keep their boy where he was.
After 4 years and one month of loving and fostering him, their dream of becoming his forever parents came true. Their adoption was finalized by the courts. Their son is an amazing child, is in a gifted program and in advanced math classes. They are very proud of him!
Despite the long haul through the system with their son, Tamra and Shane decided to pursue another placement of a foster child. They really hoped for a girl and were blessed by the placement of a 12 week old baby girl. This precious girl only weighed 9 pounds and the 3-6 month clothing Tamra picked out for her swallowed her up!
Tamra and Shane fell in love with this little girl immediately; yet, they were realistic about foster care as they had just experienced a long journey with their son. At their very first team meeting, they were asked if they would consider adoption of her! They were so surprised and felt incredibly blessed! Their adoption was finalized in 2004.
Their daughter has had some challenges. She is autistic and has a seizure disorder, but she is an amazing joy in their lives. They feel so blessed to call her their daughter. Life would not be the same without her “sassyness” and her personality. She has made great strides and they have great hope for her continued progress and well-being.
Tamra and Shane want those who are considering foster care and adoption to know that you have to give the children your all. Foster parents have the opportunities to help set the foundations for these children that can last a life-time. It is a risk and you can get hurt, but the impact you can make on the lives of children is worth it. Perseverance, consistency, stability, advocacy, and trusting your knowledge about the kids you are caring for are attributes that Tamra and Shane feel are necessary when fostering children.
They believe that the Lord had His hand in forming their family through foster care and adoption. Tamra and Shane do not regret a single thing and feel extremely blessed to call their children their own. Their greatest joy is raising the children, witnessing their triumphs, and experiencing life that is free from abuse and neglect.
In Tamra’s words “Adoption is a beautiful thing!”
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose. – Romans 8:28
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Gosh, this was a hard post to write. I stopped, stared at the image of my cousin above, typed a little, and deleted a lot before finally deciding on how to write about her. My cousin has been gone now for quite some time. This week marks the 16th anniversary of her death. It was an extremely painful experience to lose a best friend and someone who I essentially grew up with.
Most of my friends and co-workers do not even know. It is not that I have forgotten about her…I just cannot “go there” very often. I am extremely blessed with amazing friends, but there will always be that space that only Kelly filled. The vast majority of my early life memories involve her. Cousins really do become children’s first friends.
She was only 23-years-old; yet, had many sorrows and troubles. Addictions and sadness plagued her, even though, there was a tremendous amount of sweetness, tenderness, and love buried underneath all of the dirt of life. She battled addictions for several years and though she wanted to live a full, healthy life, I think that the struggles she had were just too great for her. So much life has happened since hers ended, but she is never really too far from my thoughts.
My last words to her, while she was conscious, were “baby steps, Kelly, baby steps.” I was trying to get her to slow down with her eagerness to get out of the hospital. I knew she needed to just put one foot in front of the other and that starting a new, healthier life would be much more difficult than she probably imagined. “Baby steps”….I regretted those words. If I had known those words were my last to her, I would not have chosen them.
Moments before her death, I ran to the chapel at the hospital and pleaded with the Lord. I was not an active Christian at the time and had a lot of confusion, but I still believed in a Heavenly Father who heard our cries.
“Lord, please God, I will do anything. Please let Kelly live. Please God….she needs a miracle.”
These words stumbled off of my clumsy lips that were quivering and drenched with tears. My broken and trembling body laid over the back of the pew. My hands were clasped together and I was reaching out to the cross before me. I was alone in the chapel begging….it was just me and God. It was me bargaining for Him to deliver a miracle to my near lifeless best friend.
Soon after, this I heard my name and turned around. In the doorway, my aunt stood there shaking her head with tears rolling down her cheeks.
“She’s gone”
….silence.
….numbness.
I got up and nearly ran right into a lady wearing a white jumpsuit. I remember her brown hair for some reason, but I do not remember her face and did not know she was even in the room. She said to me, “I heard you pray and wanted to let you know that your cousin is going to be okay. It is all-Saints day.” She hugged me and I walked out of the chapel. I was not Catholic (still am not), so I really did not know what she meant, but something about my encounter with her felt good.
Several months after my cousin’s death, I prayed that God would allow me to see Kelly one more time so that I would know she was okay. My prayer was answered in a dream. We were driving around in a car listening to music just like old times when she was breathing Earthly air. No words were spoken, but I could “hear” her say “I’m okay Caroline. I’m okay.” There she sat glowing in all white with that beautiful smile on her face. There was great peace in the car and I remember not wanting the ride to come to an end. I woke up and even though it pained me to realize she was gone, I just knew that she was at peace and with the Lord. I have not dreamed of her since then, but that is okay.
I believe the Lord did grant her the miracle I so pleaded for on that fateful day. You see, Kelly had been rendered unconscious just a week or two prior to her death. She miraculously came to, asked for forgiveness, recommitted her faith in the Lord, told her family and friends that she loved them, laughed, hugged, and then passed away. That was her miracle.
I too was touched by a miracle on the day Kelly died. My aunt who ran into the chapel to let me know Kelly passed away does not remember the lady in the white jumpsuit. She told me there was no one else in the chapel with me when she came in. In other words, I believe my miracle on that day was an encounter with an angel telling me that my sweet cousin was going to be okay even though she would be leaving the Earth.
Kelly never had the opportunity to become a mom, graduate from college, start a career, own a personal computer, use a smart phone, or travel to some far off exotic place. She did not get to stand next to me at my wedding, attend my adoption hearings, and watch how my story of infertility unfolded. I know she would have been so in love with my babies and would have cherished them as much as I do. I believe a part of her will always be with me during all of the moments I share with my children.
I look forward with great anticipation and joy at the reunion I will have with her in Heaven. I look forward to breathing in the same celestial air that she is breathing and to shine with her in the glory of the Lord. But, for now, I will continue to hold her in that quiet space that belongs only to her. I will continue to think of her every time I see tulips and daisies. And, I will continue to rejoice in the miracles that occurred during that week when Kelly danced her way into Heaven.
Love You, Kelly
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BARREN TO BLESSED 