A Letter to Adoptive Fathers

Hey, you…father to children because of the miracle of adoption. I’m writing this letter to adoptive fathers because I’m all sentimental and stuff about my own husband, and also because I want to encourage you in your walk through the terrain of adoption.

You have probably heard people say, “I just don’t think I could love a child who was not born to me as much as I could one who was.” Yeah. I know. We’ve heard it, too. You sit back, absorb their words, and think, “How could you not?” After all, you HAVE experienced the incredible feelings of wholeheartedly loving a child who was not born from your biology.

You know all too well that this kind of love takes a tremendous amount of work but in many ways, it is effortless. It is complex, yet simple. It can get ugly, but oh man, it can also reveal great beauty. It certainly requires fortitude, patience, empathy, and compassion.

You took a hard look at the situation that led you to your child, and you said, “Yes.”

Yes to the idea of adoption.

Yes to the paperwork.

Yes to the expenses and training.

Yes to the belief that adoption matters so very much.

The word “yes” is a marvel, isn’t it? When you spoke that word, you opened an entire world to your family¬†and your child. You refused to be a man who turned away. You dug in deep, disregarded all of those doubts, and you pushed forward.

Your child may not be born to you, but in so many ways, the two (or 3 or 4) of you have grown from a place that not all parents can claim; your hearts. What was born within you is that unending desire to help your child, to understand the way his or her world works, and to provide stability and love. You offer your child the best chance for a life of love, success with relationships, and the complete recognition that his or her life is one of great worth.

Hey, you…a father formed through adoption,

In a world of fatherless children and fathers who refuse to stand up, you took a stand and stood tall. I can’t think of anything more masculine or wonderful than this. I hope this letter to adoptive fathers serves as a reminder.

Don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.