Dear Parent of a Sick Child

Dear Parent of a Sick Child,

Hello there.  How are you?  No, really…how are you?  I’m sure you are tired, worried, overwhelmed, desperately seeking normalcy, and wondering when your child will get better.  I hope my words bring you encouragement.

When I was a sick child, I remember being cared for by adults.  I remember the adults that surrounded my bedside whispering encouragement into my ears.  I remember never waking up alone in my hospital room, never wondering if I would be taken care of, and never imagining that I was not loved.

My memories are mostly like flashes from a movie screen.  These moments are frozen in time.  I knew I was in an immense amount of pain, but I don’t remember the pain or the struggle to survive.  I don’t remember my body being ravaged by infection.  I don’t remember these moments at all.

I do, however, remember the love I felt in the room.  I remember the gentle rubbing of my arms, the softness of someone holding my hand, the brushing away of my hair from my eyes, and the kisses on my face.  I remember these things.

I remember receiving cards, letters, balloons, flowers, stuffed animals, and just about anything else that would bring a smile to me.  I remember waking up with my parents there….all of the time.  Even when I was in and out of consciousness, I remember them.

I also remember my parents never showing their fear, despite being filled with it.  I remember how they showed great strength; even though their bodies wore the trappings of exhaustion.  I remember their caring hands, their patience with my recovery, and their filling-in to meet my daily needs.  I was told I was a “little trooper”, and that my will to live was stronger than any illness.  I recall my mother giving me baths in the hospital, and my dad holding my hand as often as he could.

Please, dear parent, please know that your presence is precious to your sick child. Your bravery is beautiful, and your courage is contagious.  Don’t stop fighting for your child.  Continue asking questions about treatment options.  Don’t stop whispering sweet words of hope into your child’s ears.  These words will resonate deep down in your child.

Tell your child how much you love them.  Tell your child that he or she is the bravest little one you have ever seen.  Speak stories of healing.  Tell your child that he or she is a superhero.  Give your child the hope that you are clinging to.  Pray for your child; pray over child; and ask others to join in your prayers.

Your child knows you are there.  He or she knows it, even if not awake.  Don’t forget that.  You are the most significant person in his or her life.  You matter. Please, dear parent, please know how much you mean to your sickly child.

Hang in there.  You are in a situation that you never dreamed you would be in.  You would give anything to trade positions with your baby, but you cannot.  I know how hard that must be for you.

Dear Parent of a Sick Child, get some sleep.  Ask for help.  Take care of yourself.  You are a superhero.  You are a trooper.  Your will is strong.  Don’t forget these things.

 Your child needs you.

Bless you, dear parent, bless you. Thank you for striving for the best care for your child and for holding his or her hand in the middle of many sleepless nights.  Thank you for putting on the bravest face you can during this difficult time.

Dear Parent of a Sick Child, what you are doing matters.  Your strength, wisdom, love, hope, courage, and your presence are the greatest gifts you can give your child.  Don’t forget that, and don’t be discouraged.  

Your child will remember your presence more than the pain.

Other posts you might like:  Mother’s Resilience 

                                           Valley of Death, Mercy of Life

                                           Dear Parent of a Sick Child (letter #2)

126 thoughts on “Dear Parent of a Sick Child”

  1. Pingback: “Dear Parents of Disabled Children: Do You Regret Having Your Child(ren)…?” Part I | Bad Axe City

  2. Team Bede

    thank you, This was forwarded to me as I sit here by my child’s cot making sure he doesn’t turn grey again counting his breaths. he is a terminally ill infant and every day I hope his experience of our love trumps his experience of his illness. from teambede.wordpress.com x

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    1. barrentoblessed

      I’m so thankful this post made it to you. I have no idea what it is like to be a parent to a gravely ill child, and can barely imagine the pain it must bring. I was inspired to write this from my own experience as a child who nearly died from a very serious illness. I meant every word. I do not know your child’s situation, but I pray for comfort for him and you during this time. Thank you for reading and for sharing a bit about yourself.

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      1. A. Santiago

        I saw this letter on an FB post and I cried as I read on. We lost our son to cancer at age 10 in 2011, after 6 years of treatment. Thanks you for saying that all you remembered was the love and kindness, not the pain, when you were sick as a child. That was always a parent’s wish each day throughout the journey. And I was blessed to have heard it from my own son when he saw me with tears: Mom, your crying tells me you really really love me. Gratitude for letting all the parents out there, especially cancer parents, know that what they do is not for nothing.

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  4. Amy

    Thank you for writing this. It is extremely moving and brought me to tears. My son had cancer when he was four years old and this truly resonated with me. He is 9 years old now and I often wonder what he remembers of that time. Thank you for sharing! Amy

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  5. Shifra

    Thank you so much for writing this. My boy was born was a serious heart defect he has had many surgeries in his little life and will have many more to come unfortunately. But we have always been there for him and I do believe that is what has helped him more than anything. He is surrounded by love from us and grandparents and lots of family and so many prayers from many people we know and many more that we don’t. Even though it is difficult, overwhelming and exhausting, I would not want it any other way and I really love hearing this from someone who has lived the hospital life. Thank you for sharing.

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    1. barrentoblessed

      You are so welcome. I’m so moved by the stories of mothers and fathers fighting the most important fight of all – the fight to give their children security, devotion, and love despite the frailty of life. Stay strong!

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  6. Linda Wachtel

    This is so beautifully said. As a mother who has done this times two, one child survived and grew up and the other, an infant who died… I am so deeply moved by your beautiful words and I hope every child has the gift of a loving family surrounding them as you had.

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  7. jscoombs (@jscoombs)

    Thank you for this beautiful post…as a parent of more than one sick child with a rare disease and having lost one child, I needed to read this tonight as I sit in a hospital room with my daughter who is fighting a very bad infection…I’ve been living in and out of hospitals with my children who are affected with this rare metabolic disorder for 18 years now and some days I don’t think I can put one foot in front of the other or face one more hospital stay or keep showing faith and strength and hope when I’m full of fear and doubt and uncertainty but I know how strong and courageous and brave my beautiful daughter is who has overcome so many odds and left her doctors shocked at her ability to overcome even the toughest challenges. She has fought back so many times and the prayers and faith of many have been so appreciated. Tonight as I lay on this hard bed in the hospital room, fighting off bronchitis because I don’t have time to be sick, I’m thankful that I read this. It is like a tender mercy from the Lord who surely has borne the pain and fear that I feel when I see my daughter go thru so many difficult health challenges. Thank you…your words have encouraged and inspired me. Things will all work out!

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  8. Jen Larson

    I was shocked one day when my ten-year-old son said, “We don’t remember pain, but we remember happiness. Maybe it wasn’t so bad that I had cancer.” Your post helped me understand what he meant. Thank you.

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  9. Grace

    Thank you! Tears as I read this. My son has complex heart disease. Hospitals and surgeries are a constant part of our lives. He is currently on different medications to try and slow down the rate of his heart failure. He is five.

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    1. barrentoblessed

      You are welcome. I actually wrote this back in June, and am shocked it is getting around today. I’m thankful that it has found you, and the many other parents who are battling illnesses not of their own. God bless you, and your precious little boy!

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  11. Kelly

    Wondering if I can read this to our Mended Little Hearts group? I will give you credit, but as a heart defect survivor I want the other parents to know this as well! Please let me know if I have your permission!!

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  12. Pingback: Dear Parent of a Sick Child | Blurbs of Grace

  13. Melissa

    This looks like you wrote it in June…I am only enjoying your writing now. Thank you for taking the time to write this. Obviously as you can se from all of your replies you have touched a nerve in us parents of seriously ill children. It is the hardest thing ever to have a sick child. But, somehow your words (through my tears) brind me such comfort, to think that he will remember all the love and not all the horrible, painful bad things that have happened. I hope you don’t mind if I share this with other families I know that are struggling. Thank you again.

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  14. Brandon L.

    I’m a father of a beautiful baby girl born 3 months early suffering a severe brain hemorrhage during delivery. Although we have not walked in your shoes specifically, my wife and know how difficult the journey can feel and the helplessness that creeps its way into your heart and mind. We spent two months by her side in the NICU through breathing machines and blood transfusions not knowing what tomorrow may bring. This is an incredible story and I thank the author for taking the time to share it with all of us. The most powerful message it contains is that of prayer and presence. Being strong believers, my wife and I gave her to God the night she was born and our faith kept us strong despite many ups and downs. We recruited every prayer warrior we could, young and old. Not only did God use her to stregthen and develop me and her mother, we were also blessed with the opportunity to touch the lives of so many others through her story. She is forever our testimony having overcome all she was against solely by the Grace of God. The power of prayer is a mightly thing when coupled with that ‘mustard seed’ of faith. Today, our baby girl is fully restored and one of the many miracles God grants to his servants daily. For all of you out there who are beginning a journey and enduring a long term one, your presence with your child combined with prayer is more powerful than anything you’ll find in a hospital.

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  15. Nathan Veenstra

    Wow. Thank you for posting this. It is awesome to read this from someone who experienced it from the other side. Encouraging words and those first sentences kicked in hard. You really do understand it, even though you have not experienced having a sick child yourself.

    Bless you and thank you again for posting this.

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    1. barrentoblessed

      You are welcome. My parents were incredibly strong during my illness, and have been ever since. It was one that was life-altering, as most serious illnesses are. Sometimes we forget about the parents because we are so focused on the children (as we should be, of course). Now that I’m a parent, I can only catch a glimpse of what my mom and dad most have gone through. May God bless you during whatever difficult situation you are going through.,

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  16. Pingback: Words from another blogger | adventuresfromtheheart

  18. Andy Wheatley

    2 months ago my wife and I turned off our 4 year old son’s life support machine and held him in our arms as he slipped away. He had a serious heart condition and survived a routine operation only to be struck down by a terrible infection whilst in recovery. He was in hospital for 26 days and during that entire time he spent only 8 hours without one of us at his side, day or night. We told him we loved him, cuddled him, stroked him whenever we could and surrounded him with love. Towards the end, as his life slipped away, we could not be sure just how much he knew, but your words are amongst the most wonderful I have ever heard. I cannot thank you enough – http://hlhsdiary.com/wp/?p=359

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    1. barrentoblessed

      I am so humbled by your comment that I barely know what to say. What you did for your son, the long hours, the time away from home, the moments you held his hand, the brave choices you made, and the love you have for him, carry no regret, and are the most significant moments in your lives. Thank you so much for your comment, and sharing about your precious son.

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  19. anna

    I am reading this from my son’s hospital room. He has complex heart defects and has spent a lot of time in hospital in his short life. He just turned one. Myself and my husband make sure that there is always one of us here. Reading your post made me glad that we do this. He will be having more heart surgery soon. One of my biggest worries is how he reacts to evergthing being done to him, and I hate to watch him suffer. Your words have come at a good time and I take strength from them. Thank you.

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    1. barrentoblessed

      You are welcome. Thanks so much for reading, and commenting. The image of you sitting in the hospital room stirs up such emotion for me. My parents were never apart from me when I was in the hospital (more than once). They split the days up. My mom was quite surprised when I told her that I really don’t remember hardly any of the painful moments. I know she worried, just like you do. You are of great value to your son, and what he is going through. I pray for strength and wisdom for the days and nights ahead. God bless you!

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  20. Jennifer

    Thank you. Just … thank you. We lost our youngest daughter and have spent a lot of time in the hospital with our youngest son, who is facing his third open heart surgery in the next year, after numerous other surgeries as well. From reading the other comments I know I’m not alone when I say you gave us all a glimpse into the other side of the hospital bed and alleviated some of our deepest fears.

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  21. Nilam Agrawal

    Thank you for this post. I just came back from ER with my 3 years old daughter. Both my kids have mitochondrial disorder and how many times have I prayed to God to trade places with them, when they are sick, when they are in pain, the only thing I want to do is to hold them in and pull them back inside my body, where they will be safe from the pain of the worlds. Thanks do much for this post, I hope my kids only always remember this live that we have for them and not the endless hospital trips and their sickness and pain.

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    1. barrentoblessed

      As an adult who experienced several hospitalizations as a child, and of course, the most traumatic one which resulted in my hysterectomy when I was eleven, I honestly look back on it all and recognize the impact it had on my life, but also the immeasurable amount of love I was given from my parents. Pain is temporary, but love lasts. Bless you and your children!

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  22. Sheryl B.

    Words cannot express how much I appreciate what you have written. As I prepare myself for my son to have another surgical procedure next week, it warms my heart to know that he will really remember the love and tenderness. He has more than 20 surgical procedures in less than 10 yers and I have lost him twice. I cried for what felt like the first time as I read your letter. As a mother, I feel completely helpless and you are right, I would give anything fur to be me. Your letter was beautifully written and I’m sure that I’m not the only Mother or Father that think so. Bless you.

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    1. barrentoblessed

      Bless you two. My parents just recently read it, and they were moved as well. The words expressed are ones I wish I would have been able to tell them while I was going through it. I’m so thankful now that I am able to do so. Stay strong!

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  23. sue

    I was forwarded this today as I sit here at 2:30 am in the hospital with my 16 year old with Cystic Fibrosis. I would never let her wake up alone in a hospital. I remember the hard times for the past 16 years but I also remember the millions of happy moments. Thanks for sharing this.

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    1. barrentoblessed

      You are welcome, and thank you for reading. I cannot imagine 16 years of watching your daughter in and out of the hospital bed. It is wonderful for her to witness the strength of a parent’s love by the simple act of waking up every morning know that you are there for her. God bless!

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  24. Julie

    I’m not a Mum nor was I a sick child but all I seem to hear about at the moment is kids who are very ill mainly with brain tumours or leukemia. They aren’t close to me…distant family or friends of friends…but it’s heartbreaking. Your post is lovely. Hearing it from a child’s perspective. I’m sure it will help give parents strength to keep a brave face in front of their child. I may not be able to fully understand what a parent in this position is going through but my thoughts are with them all xxx

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    1. barrentoblessed

      Thank you for taking the time to read it and for the comment. My parents did not have a lot of people who truly understood what it felt like, and of course, social media was not around in 1983. Parents need support, and they need to use their voices. They need their children better than anyone. Thanks again for reading!

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  25. Pingback: 11 October 2013 | CHD mum

  26. Meg

    Thank you so much for this. I knew my son would have medical complications before he was even born. He’s almost 11 now and faces complications from losing most of his intestine every day, it has caused him to develop Crohns Disease. I have sat by his bedside more than once, held him while he sobs begging for not another IV. I needed to read this. Thank you.

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    1. barrentoblessed

      Your comment especially touches my heart because I was around your son’s age when the most devastating of illnesses occurred. I also had intestinal complications as a child partly due to the surgeries and the massive amount of infection. Even now as an adult, I struggle with abdominal scar tissue pain. I have heard Crohn’s is a very difficult disease. Your son must be a tremendously brave kiddo. I hope that his body receives the healing it needs, and his spirit continues to strive. God bless you both.

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  27. klynn524Kim

    I really won’t be able to find the words to tell you just how important this piece is. All I can say is thank you for writing it. I am a mother of 4, 3 of which have medical issues that affect our lives every day. One of whom is going through chemo right now. This will touch lives far beyond what you could ever imagined, I promise.

    Thank you again.

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    1. barrentoblessed

      Thank you. I’m just so moved and overwhelmed right now by the response and the sharing of stories. It is both beautiful and heart-breaking at the same time. I am praying for you, and all of the parents who have shared with me a bit about their lives, or have read the post.

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  28. Susie-Rose

    This is just Beautiful,,, after many years and overwhelming financial catastrophe-its just what I needed to read, I did the right thing-and stayed by his side even though work was calling and I nearly lost my job …I’m glad I never left your side boo boo, because if I had only those moments and none other,well I’m not sure . what I do know is we’ve been granted this gift of 3 more years and many more I hope …much love and my entire heart, mamma ❤

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    1. barrentoblessed

      Thank you so much for reading, and for your comment. As a working parent, I know it is so difficult to feel torn between responsibilities, and the needs of our children. I’m glad that you stayed by your child’s side too. It means so much! God bless you!

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  29. Rachel Pegler

    My little girl has been very poorly on and off for her whole life….. i wish i could have read this when she was a baby, its the sort of thing i can imagine her writing when she is older, she is not as ill as she used to be thank goodness although has just had some new diagnosis’s we are dealing with at the moment which are leaving her unwell. im so grateful that her illnesses have not been as bad as some of the above and i consider myself very very lucky for that. If anyone could help out with this i would also be very greatful thank you so much
    http://you.38degrees.org.uk/petitions/for-cortisones-sake-give-steriod-dependents-the-life-saving-injection-they-need

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    1. barrentoblessed

      I don’t know what to say, except that I’m so grateful and humbled you have found comfort in it. I wrote this back in June, and am amazed how it is touching hearts now. God bless your during your healing process.

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  31. Susan Hinton

    My son too has been sick for year every two weeks with some mysterious illness. He runs high fevers, vomits and has extreme diarrhea and body aches. He is three and a half years old, so you can imagine as a parent it is heart breaking to watch. We are still waiting to find out what is wrong with him, and it has been a very difficult battle. I so appreciate your kind thoughts and precious words that many parents need to hear. Your words speak through not only the heart, but also the very essence of what being a parent truly is: “cheerleader”, “encourager”, “nurse”, “prayer warrior” and at times a “friend”. God bless.

    Susan

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    1. barrentoblessed

      Thank you so much. I’ve been thanked by so many, but truthfully, I am thankful that the Lord is using this piece to comfort many. I hope you find some answers for your little boy soon. God bless!

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  32. Team Joey

    Thank you so much for posting this. It means a lot to us parents in the threnches. My son has told me that he doesn’t remember his 2 PICU stays. I am incredibly grateful for that and glad to know that you remember your parents over the pain. Thank you.

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  33. Laura

    My son is 12 years cancer free, but I remember the hospital stays like they were yesterday, your words are the exact thing that parents need to hear.

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  34. wburr99

    My five year old son has been fighting cancer since he was three. I believe he will make it. I honestly do. But I often wonder if it will be all he remembers of his childhood. Thank you for setting me straight.

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    1. barrentoblessed

      Serious illness during childhood has an impact, but when asked about mine, I remember so many wonderful things. I remember the things on the other side of sadness. Thank you so much for reading my post, and I’m so happy to hear of the hope you have for you little boy. God bless!

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  35. Jessica

    Thank you for this. A friend thought of me and sent it to me. Totally made me cry but I loved it. My son is going on surgery number 8 at 2 years old and will have quite a few more. He is delayed, has sensory issues and we are doing genetic testing this month. It is a lot and to think that me being as strong as I can for him really helps him is pretty amazing.

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    1. barrentoblessed

      You have so much more influence than you might know. I remember observing how strong my mom was (and my dad) during my health problems. They never allowed me to be a victim, but encouraged me to be victorious. It made such a difference in my life. I hope they find out what is going on with your little guy. God bless!

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      1. Jessica

        Thank you. He was born with a bilateral cleft lip and palate. They wanted to wait on genetic testing because he seemed fine. But as more delays started showing they considered it but wanted to wait. Now at two some are talking to me about pre school testing and I am asking well how do we know to help him, if we don’t know everything and his geneticists agreed with me. So the testing starts this month. I am nervous and don’t know what to think. If they find something we go from there of course, but not we still don’t have answers….. Just praying for the strength… He seems so much stronger than me.

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  37. Stacy

    I, too, have experienced the world that many do not know exists, the world that never sleeps, the world called, the hospital. I am now the Volunteer Coordinator for Ragan’s HOPE. HOPE stands for “Helping Other Parents Endure and Embrace the Future”. Parents, we would LOVE to support you through this journey! We give support to parents / caregivers of critically ill or those experiencing catastrophic injuries and our support is not limited by geography or time. Please contact us! http://www.raganshope.com

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      1. Laura Lane

        On February 24th 2011, my 12 year old daughter Celeste was diagnosed with Pineoblastoma, a very rare form of brain tumour, Then exactly 2 years to the day, she made her transition to Heaven. My book is about Celeste and another 12 year girl Hayley who was diagnosed at the same time, about the relationship that built between Hayley’s mom Laurie and I and what we learned that we can share with other parents. It is called “Two Mothers, One Prayer; Facing your child’s cancer with Hope, Strength and Courage” It will be release Feb 24th 2013. Until the website is up and running you can watch our special video about Celeste http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FdkE5wiZcvo
        Thank you. I will email you as well.

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  39. Tania

    Thank you. Your words brought me great comfort. As tough as things are right now. I hope my daughter only remembers the better parts of these 2 1/2 years of chemo.

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  40. Danielle K.

    Thank you for this, it was truly beautiful. My friend forwarded this to me and it brought tears to my eyes as I read it. My 3 year old daughter has leukemia and I often wonder what she will remember from the 2 1/2 years of treatment she has to endure. Comforting to know that she will remember her daddy and I always being there with her and fighting right along side her.

    http://www.facebook.com/ZoeysArmy

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  42. livelifeunscriptedtoday

    As I sit here at Children’s hospital with my daughter, tears streaming down my face, reading this while watching her sleep – I just want to share my gratitude with you for having taken the time to write this. My four year old is fighting a rare and aggressive cancer. One so rare it is thought to be one of a kind, and doesn’t even have a name yet. She’s here with another round of high dose chemo, and your words bring so much peace. Thank you for taking the time to share your story. Your perspective. It is beautiful.

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    1. barrentoblessed

      I am so moved by your comment. Wish I could reach through the computer and give you a big hug. My illness was not cancer, although they initially thought it was. Instead, it was a very rare (at the time in 1983) form of bacteria. I was extremely close to dying, but pulled through. I cannot even fathom what you are going through. Please know I’m deeply touched by sharing a bit about your daughter, and will pray for complete and miraculous healing. Thank you for reading my post.

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      1. livelifeunscriptedtoday

        I shared this post on Facebook 3 years ago today. Though my situation did not have the ending we’d prayed for (my daughter bravely fought brain cancer, and passed away 2/13/2016), your words are like an emotionally healing salve applied to a fresh wound. Thank you for that. So many tears, bit so much gratitude. Love and hugs to you!

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  43. Joanne K

    Thank you for both writing and posting this message. As the mother of 2 young adults with a rare metabolic disease (plus). Our home and lives are filled with extensive technology, clinic visits and hospitalizations too numerous to count and lots of LOVE, HOPE and FAITH. Our daughters would tell you their lives are “normal” as this is all they have known since infancy. Extremely grateful that I had the opportunity to read this today.

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  45. Cara

    All I can say is thank you! I needed this so much right now! People don’t always understand. My heart feels so broken sometimes. This gives me hope!!!

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  46. Lorie Goodall

    I belong to a group of over 200 parents that have chronically ill children, RSD, Mito, EDS, POTS, and some other genetic issues. One of our parents posted this in the group and I know they need to hear this once in a while to help them keep going.
    You did an amazing job and I am so thankful you shared these positive thoughts.

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    1. barrentoblessed

      Thank you for taking the time to read it. I’m so amazed at how the internet is able to connect us all through times of joy and grief. God bless you, and the other families who are bravely soldiering on for you babies.

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  47. Sara Marshall

    Thank you for this. I am sitting in the hospital as my one year old baby boy recovers from a stem cell transplant. Prior to this he has suffered through 6 rounds of chemo, surgeries, fevers, infections, hearing loss, and countless other procedures. We still have 9+ months of treatment ahead of us. I hope he looks back on all of this some day and can only remember the love and not the pain, suffering and struggle. Your words are truly a gift to me and other parents. Thank you!

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  48. Brianah Doeden

    Thank you so much for writing this. My daughter is only 15 months and struggling with a rare genetic disease, epilepsy and other issues. She is unable to communicate her needs to us and we often say that it would be wonderful to know what she is feeling and thinking. You helped answer our questions. Thank you so much and God Bless YOU!!!

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    1. barrentoblessed

      Your presence is so important to your daughter, and I know it must be hard to wonder what is going on in her mind. Love doesn’t necessarily have a spoken language. It is the moments when you feel safe, comforted, and warm. It is felt during the softness of a mom’s touch, and the strength of a dad’s hug. These things do not need to be verbalized to be felt. Thank you for reading, and taking the time to comment. Stay strong for your little girl, and God bless your family!

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  49. julie mills

    I have a great cousin name evan mills findling. He have been diagnosed for burkitts lymphoma since June 12 and he is a survivor. I dont know how he made it through for 6 arounds of chemo. But his parents, his class has been there, his teachers, his cousins, aunts, grandparents, etc. Has been blessed. I have been seeing pictures of him and everything. But I am thankful that he is in my life. But to me he is my superhero and inspiration to show how much a kid can do to be able to survive it. I love him more than anything. But he is also my mj.

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  50. Mindi Finch

    You nailed it, my dear. My son was diagnosed with cancer at age three and endured a bone marrow transplant. He is now 8 and just over four years post transplant. When he and I look through pictures from those first two arduous years, he sighs wistfully and tells me, “Oh, Mommy. Those were great times.” Meanwhile I am stuffing horror back down my gullet. Yet — Our entire existence since diagnosis, has been infused with a level of love I never would have thought possible. Thank you for this poignant ‘patient’ perspective. ❤

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    1. barrentoblessed

      Thank you. When people have asked me about my childhood, I tell them that I had a happy one. Yes, of course, there were difficult circumstances because of medical problems, but my childhood memories go back to the warmth I felt of a loving home. It would be amiss for me to say that my medical problems never entered my mind growing up. Of course they did, and at times, I grieved over what I went through as a child. However, in the course of my life events, I would not change a thing. Thank you for reading, and my your son continue to get stronger as the years go on.

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      1. Nancy Arciva

        Hi, have you ever consider translating this to other languages, specifically spanish, I’m a member of a spanish speaking church, and there are several families that would benefit from this letter. I would gladly help you to translate to spanish. Beautiful words and encouriging to parents that have been thru this process.

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      2. barrentoblessed

        Thank you, Nancy. I have not thought of that, but certainly am open to it. I have a co-worker who is fluent in Spanish, so will work on her with it. Thank you for the suggestion! God bless!

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  51. ShellyAngelique Paquette

    I sit here with tears streaming down my face. I am so grateful for your words. At the age of 7 my son was admitted into the hosp for a very long stay. Doctor’s could not figure out at that point what was wrong with my previously healthy child. I watched my son fight through months of extremely high fevers, watched as he stopped eating, watched as his legs no longer worked, Watched Doctor after Doctor come through his Hospital room…..Til they finally came to me and stated they had no idea what was making my son so very i’ll. I was told to prepare myself for his death. I remember thinking…….How does one prepare themselves? I refused to accept that! I gathered all the elders in my family……We all sat by his bed and prayed……like we have never prayed before. I bargained with God…….got angry at him, screamed at him…..Why finally give me a child…..after years of trying…….only to lose him this quickly into his life. Then miraculously the fevers started to disappear, he started eating again, and then was once again able to walk. We were discharged home with a diagnosis of ” Fever of Unknown Origin” The following 3 years we would fight a as yet unnamed demon, feeling like i was sucker punched every time those same symptoms would reappear and we’d wind up back Admitted, the endless trips to various Childrens Hospitals, finally i met up with a assistant professor for Rheumatology out of Dartmouth Hitchcock medical center ( The Chad Hosp ) Who decided to run a wide array of tests on my child. When the testing came back it left us more confused than before it, This Doc then contacted a Doctor from the Floating Childrens Hospital out of Tufts medical center in Boston Mass, Explained to him what we currently knew, and faxed over copies of everything to this Doctor. This doc agreed to see my son……..so the long trip to another state to see him happened, and 4 months ago we finally discovered the cause of my sons illness. My son is now diagnosed with Systemic Juvenile Idiopathic Rheumatoid Arthritis, Systemic Lupus, and Behcets disease……3 auto immune disorders ,which all attack his own body!! We are now on Methotrexate injections weekly, finally after 3 long years we have answers. I think back……to all the traumatizing testing he has undergone, The imaging, the procedures…….. It makes me cry to realize he will only remember the love that was continually shown to him, the Stuffed babies the nurse’s on the pediatric ward would bring to him,, he climbed into their hearts and stayed there…….we are still in regular contact with some of those wonderful people, Without their strength, caring, and unending support…..i dont know if i would have been able to remain so strength filled and had hope stay alive.Now he is back in school ( After missing 18 months of it ) Thriving……Life has a semblance of normalcy again. Thank you so much for helping me to realize all he will remember is that he was surrounded by love…..The soft words of encouragement, Loving touches that stroked his back and head through the worst of times……Thank you so much for the peace your words bring me.

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  52. Jessica

    Thank you so much for writing this. My son is nearly five,after numerous hospital stays,viruses,coughs,colds and infections he has had due to a disease of the immune system he has I felt like I was alone,with no more tears left for my Angel. Reading this has cheered me up aswell as made me cry and given me the will to continue to be strong. Thank you!

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  55. Ali

    Thank you so much for this! My daughter was 3 years old when she was diagnosed with leukemia. 4 years later she is an amazing happy and healthy little girl. I often wonder how much of the ordeal she will remember as time passes.

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  56. J. McNamara

    It is so good to know that that children are aware that their Mum an Dad are by their side . Mum and Dad go thru’ hell in situations like this. Watching your child suffer and not being able to take their suffering away is a parents worst nightmare. We must always remember the parents as well as the patient in our prayers.

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  57. Rachel

    Thank you so much. No one knows what we as parents feel fighting for the life of our sick child. Putting on a happy face is so hard sometimes. My daughters tumor is dead as of now but she’s been having pain again. Exactly the same time when all this began last year. The fear of having to go through it all again is indescribable. I will never stop fighting nor will I ever be able to pay back everyone that has stood behind us this past year

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  58. Karie

    Thank you for this post, Through everything that my daughter endures, I always say that I hope when she is older she forgets the pain and doesn’t remember these trying times and this story gives me that hope. I never leave her side and I sometimes even crawl in the hospital bed with her to rub her hair out of her face, rub her back, or just to sneak as many kisses on her sweet face as I can.

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  59. Marissa

    This letter made me cry.. My daughter has an immune deficiency and is always sick and in and out of the hospital.. I always wondered if I was doing enough or how she would be affected by all this when she got older, and I don’t know if I was crying because I was sad or happy knowing that she can see we love her and are doing everything we can for her.. So thank you for sharing this!!

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  60. God is Good

    Thank you for stopping by a while ago!
    THis is lovely and I plan to forward it onto a friend whose 13 year old has nearly died a few times this year to encourage her … she is very tired and weary …
    Blessings, God is Good!

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  61. yramos265

    This is beautiful and has made me feel better. My daughter has a couple diagnosis and its been hard, shes upcoming surgary which makes me nervous but i know shes strong. Thanks for this lovely message.

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  62. linda

    Ty so much for righting this my daughter was born with a heart defect and di George syndrome and clubbed feet and other issues she had 6 surgerys two open heart she will need more in the furture this was truly inspiring to me n many ways ty so much we hope u r all right now to we r praying for u as well u can follow us at prayers for kourtney 🙂

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  66. Stacey Conley

    Thank you so much for this. It feels so good to know we are not alone, and that someone else understands and appreciates what we go through when our children are struggling. My 16 year old son, Noah, was struck by a pickup truck on June 20, 2013. He suffered a severe traumatic brain injury, but, by the grace of God, he is recovering well. As I read this, I had memories of our time in the ICU and rehab units of Children’s Mercy, of bathing him, holding his hand while he slept, wanting to hold him and make it all better. And still, seven months later, I am filled with fear that he could leave me again. I hold back my tears a lot.
    Thank you for this reassuring ‘hug’; it means so much. God bless you.
    Stacey Conley
    Cameron, Missouri

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  67. Alexis

    Thank you for this I know someone going through this now and needed words of encouragement but I knew no matter what I said there was no way I could make a connection I was at a loss for words, so I decided to search for someone with experience and this was the first thing that I read it’s everything that should be heard so I shared this site on Facebook.

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  68. Tara

    I came across this when my daughter was diagnosed in 2013. I copied the very last paragraph onto my phone and read it every night before her bone marrow transplant and the 60 days she was in hospital during transplant. I had searched and searched for your original post and couldnt find it. Then it came up on a FB feed a few weeks ago(I now have it book marked). It has been almost 3 years since her transplant and she is doing really well. Thriving in fact! Although I dont read the quote as often anymore, I have shared that last paragraph with so many families I met going through transplant. I drew so much strength from it. So thank-you for empowering me to feel that I mattered when I felt so hopeless in such an overwhelming time in our lives. They are beautiful words that fill my heart and mind with strength.

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    1. barrentoblessed

      Hi Tara. First, I’m thrilled to hear that your daughter is doing well. That is awesome! Second, thank you for sharing this with me. When I write all the stuff in my head and heart and hit the publish button, I never know how it might affect others. Knowing that this positively affected you and that you found comfort in it is just so incredible. I wish you and your daughter many years of happiness and health. Caroline

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